the accidental poet

As I sit here, standing there,
I wonder what it’s like.
To walk with you among the fields,
To have you hold my hand.
I wonder if you’d take the time to say,
“I love you so.”
I know I would if I had the chance,
To give to you my soul.
Is there nothing that is sacred
to a lover anymore?
Must I pour my heart out to you, and still fear for my soul?
Alas I must, I promise to myself.
For I cannot hold back.
I wish to be a part of you,
But can I still be me if you’re a part of me?

So I brace myself, and get prepared
To bare my soul to you.
Will you take it as expected
Or will you bare your soul to me?
I’ve set the mood, all is right.
Now all I have to do is wait.
I’m anxious of the moment
When I’ll lower my defenses.
I hope that all goes easily,
I hope you take it well.

The time has come, I am prepared,
You walk into the room.
I stand, you sit,
I take your hand and kneel.
I gaze into your eyes and
Thoughts flow out and rush to you
I tell you of my love for you,
How can I hold it back?

All my wishes and desires
I give to you that night.
How long I have endured
Without your sweet sweet kiss.
Never again I vow to you.
You sit there and accept.
I am overjoyed and stunned,
You’ve consented to be mine.
I pull you into my arms
And thank those who brought you to me.

As I stand here, sitting there,
I can’t believe my eyes.
You’re standing close, right next to me,
Your arm looped right through mine.
I know now what it’s like
To walk with you and have your hand in mine.
The soft caress of your smooth skin,
The beauty of your eyes.
I’m glad I took my chances,
That I did not once back down.
My joy, it knows no bounds;
I grow more joyeous all the time.
You are my one true love,
I will not let you get away.
Your love is like flower,
Growing more beautiful each day.

All seemed fine
All was going fine
but of course, as
USUAL
something Happened
as it was bound to
i should have known it was coming
then it
HAPPENED
but it still hit me in the face
but it Couldn’t get worse
Well . . .
it
COULD
but that’s different
it makes me feel
like i’m a tiny Mouse
always Looking . . .
Waiting . . .
for the
POUNCE
and Another Thing
why do i take so much
SHIT
from Them?
why can’t I just stand up
and say
“Leave Me Alone!”
but i think it has something
to do with the fact
that i have
NEVER
before stood up like that for myself
and They may even be
taking advantage of
me
maybe it’s a lost Cause

I walk along a beach at sunset, thinking,
Who am I? Where am I? What has happened to me?
What is it They’ve done to me?
And who are They?

The only image that comes to mind is,
one of a beautiful maiden,
with flowing auburn hair,
and deep dark eyes that tell all.

I sit on the beach and think of her.
Of her beauty which knows no bounds.
She is intelligent, swift, and clever.
She could strike me down in an instant.

Small memories of her filter through;
a touch of hands, the closeness of bodies.
The way our lips would meet…
if only in my heart and mind.

And then in a flood of memories,
it all comes back to me.
Her name, who she is, and what she’s done to me;
who They are, and what They’ve done to me.

I can remember it all so clearly,
I told her of my thoughts, how I felt.
I brought her a rose and asked her to be mine,
She just laughed and turned away.

And she wasn’t the only one who laughed.
They laughed, They jeered, They taunted
me with words of, “I told you so!”
Hatred for Them and her seethes within me.

But how can I hate one such as her?
The hatred I feel I know is only skin deep.
it masks the undying love I hold for her,
and can never lose.

But how can I love one that doesn’t love me?
I ask myself that question yet again.
Then I think of her beauty and charm.
How can I not love her?

Her companionship tells me of riches to behold.
Just being in her presence is a treasure.
I would sit and dream of how to get close,
and smell the fragrance of perfection.

Now I sit here alone on the beach hugging my knees.
I think of the afternoon that drove me here.
A rose of the reddest nature was my gift to her.
A symbol of the heart I had given her long ago.

Turned away was my rose, turned away was my heart.
It hurts me to think that my heart is wasted.
For all those years my heart was hers,
and no one elses.

In those few moments, all my dreams lay shattered
around her feet like a circle of guilt.
The shards damning her because she had
captured my heart and broke it.

The sunset on the water is so beautiful, so red
like the hair I will never be able to stroke.
With the sunset comes the darkness of night,
staring accusingly at me as if it knows…

Now I sit here on the beach, surrounded by reminders of her.
I secretly vow to myself, “I will try again,”
but alas, I fear, she will never be mine,
alas, I fear, she can never be mine.