the accidental poet

It’s really starting to get to Me. I’m
having a very hard time with It. all I can do is sit back
and watch what happens as It Builds. I sit here
wondering why It’s happening to Me? was it something
I Said or was it something I Did?
PRESSURE
I can’t believe what’s been happening
why Me? how does It justify the fact that
It takes everything out on Me!
I can’t even walk down the street or the hall
without It getting Me.
PRESSURE
It follows Me everywhere and It even follows Me
when I go off to be alone. It’s even there
when nothing else is. how can I get Myself away
from It? I just don’t understand how
this can be happening.
PRESSURE
Maybe there’s a way out through My mind. I can escape
It if I try hard enough. But I even wonder sometimes
why It can get into My mind, My stronghold,
My citadel. If It intrudes into that safeplace
all Hope is lost.
PRESSURE

Alone, cold, huddled in the new fallen snow.
While beautiful flakes drift past me face.
And I think to myself, “what do you know?”
It’s because of your ineptness that you’re in this place.

As I mentally berate myself, something catches my eye.
I lift my head and a warmth spreads across it.
In the distance, up in the starry winter sky.
Just seeing it brings me out of my self dug pit.

As the light draws nearer I stand, snow falling from me.
I open my arms and bathe in the white glow.
The light doesn’t hurt my eyes, and my joy boils over.
I become even happier, and my blood once again flows.

As the light lands in front of me, I notice a feminine form.
My joy is so abounding, my nakedness doesn’t matter.
The heat radiating from her is relentless and my skin once again warms.
All traces of white begins to melt from me and hit the snow with a patter.

She takes me in her arms and I know that I have been saved.
Trapped in her warm embrace, everything seems perfectly right.
All my worries have subsided, all my problems have been disappeared.
She hugs me close to her body and flys me into the night.

i call out to
You
but you just turn away.
i reach out to
You
but you just turn away
all
I
want is to love

i look for someone to understand my Feelings
but no one does
i try to tell someone My feelings
but no one listens
all i want is to
LOVE

i come up to you and express my feelings
but you just say
“I Don’t Know”
i try to tell you I love You
but you just say
“I Don’t Know”
all i
WANT
is to love

i wander aimlessly about
Searching
i think i have found her
but she is
GONE
in a flash
all i want
IS
to love

i scream into the night
“Why Me?”
even then no one is listening
i scream into the night
“Let Me Be!”
but still, no one is listening.
ALL
i want is to love.

i try to imagine myself with Her
but Even in
MY
dreams it is not to be
seeing her is the hardest thing
knowing i tried my hardest
all i want is
TO
love

so i live with the thought
that i am
ALONE
without her
but how Can i be alone
if i never Had her?
ALL I WANT IS TO LOVE

She’s the epitome of beauty.
She’s the peak of perfection.
She’s smart, swift and radiant,
At least I think so.

To her I would guess I’m not to spectacular,
To her I’m kind of an average ordinary guy.
I’m sure I don’t dazzle her when I’m around
Like she does for me.

But because I am in love,
I want to tell her all.
How beautiful she is, both mentally and physically,
And how much I need her.

But I am afraid of what will come of it.
Will she respond? Or will I be embarassed?
I’m so scared and nervous.
What should I do?

Well, I will go through with it.
I will present my feelings and
The red rose that symboloizes my heart and love.
I only hope that she takes it well.

I don’t understand.
You ask me how I feel, I say Miserable.
Yet Misery is not the only emotion
I’m feeling right now.
Anger, Abandonment, Betrayal
All have a place in my heart.
The Anger surfaces. How could you do this to me?
You seemed so thrilled, I was ecstatic,
Yet you left me standing there, the groom on his cursed wedding day.
The Rage consumes me even more and I scream into the brisk night air.
I wasn’t asking much, but you betrayed me.
And the Betrayal breaks the surface of the Anger pool.
I have been betrayed. You gave your word and you went back on it.
I love you and my love was taken for granted.
You’ve done it before, and I Know it will happen again.
Why me is what I ask. Why now?
You’ve been so distant lately. What did I do?
Abandonment falls like a brick into a puddle.
It’s bad enough that you had to do leave me when you did.
But couldn’t you at least had the decency to tell me to my face?
Did you really have to go through someone else?
You know that you can talk to me about anything, I’m always here.
But the Rage and Anger return.
How could you do this to me?
I at least thought that as friends we meant something to each other.
But maybe I was wrong.
Just as I’ve seemed wrong about so many other things to you.
And my misery comes back.
i just don’t understand.
you ask me now how I feel
and i answer the same: miserable.
only now, i don’t care anymore.
i feel as though i’ve lost my best friend. again.

Alone. Cold. Afraid. I see
her face and I run to her
open arms, only to pass right
through, as if she wasn’t really
there.

Saddened, I turn seeing another of her
many faces. Love, that relentless
pursuit of happiness, comes in all
forms. But why is she so
elusive for me?

I turn again. There is another
face. But this time I hold
back. I wait for her to come
to me. And when she finally does I turn.
And laugh.

I have beaten Love. No longer
does she control my life. No
longer am I in her icy grip. But
is the price I paid for this power
worth it?

No, it isn’t.